The martial class is packed every Friday afternoon! The 2500 square feet room has a seating area for parents, a small office in the front, two change rooms and lockers, two toilets, a kitchen spanning the entire width and 5 feet in depth in the back. The remaining area, reserved for the classroom and well equipped with removable tools, is barely enough for the students to jump and dance around. Every Friday afternoon class is crowded since it’s the fight training session! Isn’t it the same in any community, any time period, that fighting is the most exciting part in the martial art practice?

But, look, the two assistant instructors, his own children, approached him with a shy smile, and asked for permission to leave. They wanted to personally deliver a birthday gift to a close friend.

– Can you guys go tomorrow, another time?

– It would be for just half hour, we’ll right back. We want to surprise our dear friend. Please, Dad! We’ll be back in no time!

– Why both of you have to go?

– It’s our common friend.

– Is he that important? Who is he?

– Can’t tell you right now, but you do know him.

– Don’t you two see how packed the class is? I really need your help here.

– But, Dad, those black belt students can assist you!

His kids became impatient. The students were running around. Parents packed in the seating area. He gave in:

– OK, go now and come right back. What a trouble!

* * *

With kids buzzing around, he heard the door open, then the shout of his daughter:

– Daddy, we re back!

– Don’t just stand there and scream, come and help now!

He answered the girl but didn’t turn around to look. His daughter shouted again:

– Daddy, my friend is saying hi to you!

Irritated, he turned to the door. Oh la la… it’s “the soldier!” It’s his soldier, as tall as a tall American, solemn and handsome in that familiar military fighting uniform at the entrance door. He rushed to the door, then realizing that everybody in the room was staring at him, he slowed down his steps and swallowed his excitement and his tears of happiness. The two men, one young and one old, just stumbled on each other.

– Welcome back my son!

He felt breathless and almost suffocated by the tight hug of his strong son’s embrace. The loud and long applause of parents and students greeted the new comer.

The soldier stayed and waited for him till the martial art class was over. Then all his kids cooked up a surprise for home, this time with his participation. He drove home, came in as usual by the back door, sat down at the kitchen table and watched his wife prepare dinner for the family and waited nervously for the surprise act to begin. The soldier came in by the front door, tiptoed towards behind his mother. As though for fear of an imminent fainting of an emotional mother, the girl cried out:

– Hey mom, look at this!

Mom turned towards the voice and dropped everything in her hands to the floor, eyes wide opened and stunned. Perhaps tens of seconds past before she screamed with euphoria: “My son”! Mother and son embraced each other with smiles and tears!

His family has been living in anxiety and counting days for the soldier’s return. Life goes on with work-for-a-living, stress and worries. Then the soldier was suddenly home! His two short week vacation turned upside down the daily routine of the entire family. His presence has brought a new life, an unexplainable euphoria never before experienced into the home. Overnight parties, endless get- togethers, playful excursions with his brother and sister and friends, simply pulled his parents along in a state of pride and joy and out- of-breath racing to keep up.

A few trips to visit Grandma and uncles’ and aunties’ families, most of his two week vacation was spent at home with games, movies, eat out with his siblings, high school friends, and the two cousins who came from California the next day of his return. It turned out that the sudden return home of the soldier was only sudden to his parents. Clearly, he had complotting with his siblings to give dad and mom a nice theatrical act!

At dinner one day, his mom asked:

– What do you want for dinner tomorrow? I’ll cook.

– Anything you cook is good, mom. During the two day flying journey, from Baghdad through Kuwait, to Scotland, to Dallas, and even during landing time in Houston, I keep thinking and dreaming of a hot home-cooked meal.

Was it a soft sigh and murmur of emotion from mom? He then told the family about an encounter with an unknown American couple at Dallas airport, who asked for the privilege to invite him for breakfast, as they said they were very appreciative of the troops that were facing danger every day in a foreign land fighting for their, as well as the American people’s security and well being! He said how happy he felt as it was the first time somebody shared his point of view about the war in Iraq.

At this saying, dad stood up and gave a “hi 5” of contentment to his soldier son. Since the 9/11 attack, a former soldier himself, he has looked at the Iraq war as a defensive martial art position. “Being attacked, we should defend ourselves from afar and not wait until the enemy comes too close”, or “the best defense is to strongly attack so the enemy will not have enough time to counter attack”. No wonder he was a supporter of the two Presidents Bush war policies.

Nevertheless, he couldn’t help but felt bitter and angry about the war in his own home land a few decades back. The root cause of the American military defeat in the Vietnam War was no doubt from the mediocre policy of those “shallow-and-empty-minded” politicians, resulting in the anger of the American people, leading to the horrible loss of the entire Vietnamese nation! The sacrifice of 58,000 American and Allies lives along with more than a million North and South Vietnamese deaths in the battle became an unjustifiable horrific waste! He was praying that the painful lesson from the Vietnam War would not be repeated, so the American people could look up and be proud of being citizens of a super power. America always deserves to be the leading nation in the fight for freedom and human rights of the world. But the war in Iraq showed more and more bad, worrisome signs! Rumors spread those painful consequences of the Vietnam War might happen again.

He did know that the soldier would come home for vacation in June by a text message he got: “Daddy, I think I’ll be home for vacation in June, unless I get into trouble, hahaha…” Deep down in his heart, he wished his son would come home during the week of his son’s birthday! It was already mid-June and tomorrow would be the day and still no sign of his son! Daily news about the war were all over the media, he became more anxious and worried about his son’s not able to be home. His younger children didn’t know any better. Trying to get any war news from the soldier was like pulling teeth. “Can’t tell you, dad!” was the familiar response. Used to that saying by now, but worried and anxious, he constantly was. One time everybody in his family was in the middle of a phone conversation with the soldier, then suddenly he heard the siren in the background, and his son shouted, “Dad, dad, I gotta go! Sorry, it’s an emergency!” He felt a spasm in his stomach and thought of an attack to his son’s unit. He later asked his son about the incident, and the guy said it’s just a common and regular thing. Attack by the enemy any time, anywhere was a fact of the soldier’s daily life!

It was a great consolation that the soldier kept his family abreast of his life by any possible means – internet, Instant Messenger, phone. Without news from him for two weeks, the family was like on the hot seat. The guy must have been flooded with text messages, voice mails and letters from the family. One day, during break time in martial art class, he checked mail and got a letter from his son. He was elated, swallowed every word and paused at every sentence.

“Dear Daddy,

I am so happy getting letters from you and the family. Any mail, any gift from the family is such a treasure to us, soldiers far away from home. Even more precious when we are exhausted, physically and spiritually as well. You’ve been through that, daddy! I’m sorry that I couldn’t have more time nor better means of communication with you all. But do know that I always think of you, and mom, and the family, even in my short sleep. Today, I steal some time to write to you and mom and the family.

My life and my activities here, in Iraq, well I don’t know where to begin and, of course, can’t write you in details to maintain confidentiality. Though there are daily duties for a fighting soldier to accomplish, we are all overwhelmed by many specific tasks that can’t be described in words. It seems that there is never enough time to do things that need to be done. We work tirelessly from 16 to 20 hours per day, from security to operation, gathering and analyzing intelligence, writing reports, caring for guns and ammunitions, and personal things like bathing, laundry, eating in a hurry … If I could manage to have 5 hours of sleep, even with nightmares, I would be extremely happy! All of us here have to find ways to work and work to minimize pressure and tension.

Life here is neither glamorous nor eccentric as people might think, but rather tiring, full of negative feelings or emptiness at times! However, please don’t take me wrong. I’ve always wanted to fulfill my responsibilities and tried hard to get my work done and keep my head up and believe that the American military as well as my unit would do anything possible to help the Iraqi people gain freedom and happiness, and help restore peace, order, and prosperity to Iraq. Though, in reality, it’s hard to be positive, since it’s not easy at all to recognize the enemy among the people and also, some of us soldiers are careless and irresponsible! All in all, I can safely say that the whole experience has made me bitter and a bit cynical. I promise that I’ll find ways to call you and mom.

I was very surprised, and I’m sure you and mom would be too (!) as I was just informed that all military men would be serving three more months in Iraq! Think about the guarantee before we left home that our time here will surely not be longer than a year! I’ve now learnt not to count on any promise and to take things as they happen! But dear Daddy, as you know so well, the fear is not losing the battle here but rather losing the battle at home! In other words, the American army can not and will not be defeated on the front line but the worry of being defeated from the “rear line” is hanging in the air! The media dramatizes and makes a big deal of any disadvantage of our troops while many great achievements are ignored!

Daddy, I miss you and mom and my kid sister and brother very much every single day. I hope to have permission to go home and visit the family soon. Don’t worry too much about me, as, in here, we all sleep with our eyes open and we won’t leave our camp without our armed-to-teeth unit!

Yours,

The Soldier.”

Oh, my dear son! Do you know what you wrote in your letter revive the disastrous reality of my own experience as well as the horrible fate of Vietnam more than thirty years ago?!

Last Thanksgiving, the family received a short film of “the soldier” on YouTube. The family was elated seeing the cherished child on video webcam. Not sure if that was his humor or else, but “the soldier” communicated with his family by writing what he wanted to say on the cardboard and flashing it on video. “Hello dad, mom, and family!”, “I’m dong well”, “Happy Thanksgiving to dad, mom, and you kids”, “I know the family is going to have turkey”, “I miss your home-cooked food”, “I miss the Vietnamese soft, steamed rice”, “It’s 2 AM here now, everybody is sound asleep”, “It’s the only time that I have some time”, “It’s very hot here, it could be up to 120 degrees F”, “we have to be in uniform and carry our own weapon all day”, “I just changed clothes”, “I have to go to sleep now”, “Good bye dad, mom, and you’ll”, “take good care, yours, the soldier.” The boy had a big grin and smile, then disappeared from the screen. The whole family was speechless and stunned with emotion! That was the only time the family had seen his face since he left. He was so skinny, his face so tanned, but he seemed in good health. Everybody felt relieved.

* * *

The joyful days always seem short and passed quickly! Just turning around and a week has gone! Time really flies! The laughters of the kids, the frequent visits from the soldier’s friends, brought him back to his younger years as a soldier himself, coming home to visit his parents and his family in the central Vietnam. He smiled and felt some remorse as he remembered the “old days” when he came home on breaks. He was out all days, got together with friends, got drunk, and worried his parents and his siblings. His son now behaves better than he did in his old days. Two different countries, two different environments, two generations, he tried to console himself!

The first weekend was the wedding of Jason White, the soldier’s close friend in high school and also his former martial art student. Jason is teaching at Rice University and the bride to be is the daughter of a Vietnamese couple with Chinese background. She is a medical doctor in the very near future and cannot speak any Vietnamese though her parents are quite fluent. These young people have planned together and the soldier will be the best man and the wedding will happen when the soldier comes home on break. Both families are in close knit and involved together in the preparations of the wedding. Many of the young guests were his former martial art students and frequently visited his house for the last ten years. He felt so at ease with them and shared more than a drink with all of them. They were perhaps surprised to discover the other side of the usually serious martial art teacher. While everybody was busy proposing a toast to Jason and the bride, he came to the soldier and was about to ask, “when is your turn”. The soldier, sensed his question, just laughed:

– Dad, I know what you’re gonna tell me but I don’t even think about it!

The following days, they went to the beach early in the morning, to coffee late at night, to eat out here, to party there. He and his wife did not participate in any of those excursions so the kids could have joyful time together. When the soldier was at home, he wanted to bring up those burning questions about his son’s everyday activities, but the youngster just veered him off to other subjects. A few attempts later, then the soldier told him:

– Dad, I just want to have two weeks break peacefully with family and friends. War stuff was definitely left behind when I boarded the plane heading home. But I do have something I want to tell you so you won’t be surprised, and I only tell you. As scheduled, my unit will return to the U.S. in January 2008; after six months break, we’ll then head out to Afghanistan. Each round of duty will be at least for one year. My release from the army was initially in November 2008. It’s now pushed to at least one year later.

The soldier laughed and went on:

The army has spent a lot of money and effort to train me. How can I be released so easy and so fast, Dad? I’ve planned that November next year, after I’m released from the army, I’ll go back to school. Studying with BQ, my young brother, I sure will get better results sooner. But now, my plan has to be postponed to a later time.

* * *

The noise, the laughter of the kids downstairs woke him up. He went to bed late but his children and their friends were still playing games. His three children and six of their friends were defying the long night. Once in awhile the sudden laughters startled him and he opened his eyes in a strange feeling of happiness knowing that the soldier was safe in the love of his family and friends. The soldier’s two cousins were hesitant to leave the evening before when they had to board the plane to go back to California. The kids seem to grasp every last minute of the two week break of the soldier. The past two weeks were the happiest time of him and his family. He ate well with great appetite at every meal surrounded with loud laughters. He slept well every night with sweet dreams. Two weeks were now over. Tomorrow the soldier will return to his unit in the battlefield of Iraq! So far away, so full of uncertainties!

The pine forest of Kingwood was covered with thick fog. The whole town was still asleep in this early summer morning, so were those heavy wisteria branches full of tiny buds with dew in their petals, extended in stillness over the driveway on the side of his house. Three cars headed off to the airport. While driving he couldn’t help but think of the “comings and goings” of his younger years being a military man himself. He felt so moved and missed his old father who was no longer around, and tried to appease himself that his mother is still strong and lives with his younger brother about an hour drive away. From deep down his heart, he whispered, “Mom, I love you. I love you so much!” In Vietnam, there is a saying, “Raising your own child makes you understand the love and care from your parents”. How is it true with him, when the soldier, his first child, was born, and now it even has a deeper meaning. Many things that we know, that we’ve learnt, are simply like a breeze touching our ears. Only when we have our own experience that they make sense, sometimes too late! Personal experience is a real life savings that no wealth can replace. He smiles at himself, at his own two-cent wisdom.

After parking, everybody followed the soldier to the registration desk. The kids look tired; their eyes were red and full of tears. He suddenly thought of the wisteria buds full of dew on the branch hanging over the driveway this morning. Were the kids emotional because of the imminent separation with the soldier or was this just the sign of lack of sleep? He looked at his two younger children who turned their face away to hide the tears falling down their cheeks! These kids who came along to say goodbye were the soldier’s and his daughter’s close friends since high school years. Except his youngest son who just finished high school, these young people were all graduated from college, had steady jobs and held good social positions. They were professor at university, engineer at large companies… And the soldier chose to risk his life in the “field of arrow and bullet.” But they are all still close friends, still love each other dearly. Recently, during Lunar New Year, they came to visit him and his wife and brought a huge vase of orchids with a card: “We are all thankful and appreciate you both and your family for giving us love and care as your own children ever since.”

He furtively looked at his wife. He thought she had slept well last night. But her eyes were puffy-red and wet! She is just like any mother who loves her son dearly. “A mother’s love is immense and has no limits like the Pacific Ocean.” (Lyrics from a famous Vietnamesesong.) Thebelovedsonwasabouttofacedanger,how could a parent not be sad and worried? A crazy thought just flashed in his mind, “what if … what if … “ He felt goose bumps all over his body. Oh God! What a stupid thinking!

He turned to the soldier and put his arms tightly around the tall body of his beloved son. He was a tall man but only reached the soldier’s shoulder. Who says that Vietnamese people are petite! He tried to talk and smile so not to add more details to the sad painting of the farewell.

The soldier stayed and hung around everybody until the very last minute then rushed through the security gate. His eyes followed the soldier with hope to see a waving hand. But no, the soldier has not turned his face to look back nor waved his hand. He stood still, suddenly felt a large empty space around him, then sighed and turned to his wife to find two soft arms embracing him tightly and a voice full of tears, “Our son’s gone, hasn’t he?”

* * *

Everybody was silent on the way home! His two younger children, sitting in the back seat, didn’t say a word. His wife looked away! He knew how sad everybody was at that moment. He pictured the soldier, on the plane, lonely, like him thirty some years ago going back to his fighting unit after a few short day break: missing his parents, his family, going to a strange place, facing the enemy, the danger, an unknown future!

How empty the house looked when he got home! His youngest son went to the bedroom. After fidgeting with the newspaper, his wife and his daughter wanted to go to work. They, perhaps, didn’t want to be in the house now seemed so empty. Before leaving, his wife told him, “you stay home and keep the young boy company, honey”.

He prepared himself a cup of filtered coffee. Sitting at the table in the backyard, under the large umbrella, watching the coffee dripping in droplets in the glass cup, mixed feelings and far-and- close pictures were intertwined and dancing in his mind. He missed the soldier, just a couple of hours ago still next to him, now in the plane to a different world. He missed his father, his poor old father. “Dear Dad, all those years, how were you able to handle the absence of your three oldest sons, in three different battle fields in Vietnam, at the same time?” He felt like crying and wished his dad was still around, was right here, right now, so he could throw himself in the old man’s arms, so he could bathe himself in the old man’s love.

Translation by Mai Tran

Bài thơ này được đăng vào ngày Friday, May 13th, 2011 trong mục Short Story.

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